50 Conversation Starters for Meeting Someone New

How to use these without sounding like a quiz

Pick one, then react to the answer. The question is the door, not the conversation.

Two rules: don't fire a second question before responding to the first answer, and answer your own question too. A conversation where only one person is revealing things stops being a conversation.

First-message starters (10)

Specific, short, easy to answer.

1. 1Your profile song is on my repeat list — what else do you listen to that sounds like that?
2. 2I saw your post in the film group. What's the best thing you've watched this month?
3. 3That photo of your setup is unfair. How long did that take to get right?
4. 4You're in the art group too — what are you working on right now?
5. 5Okay, honest opinion: is the new album better or worse than the last one?
6. 6I need one game recommendation and I'm asking people with good taste.
7. 7Your theme is genuinely the best one I've seen today. Did you plan it or wing it?
8. 8You mentioned you're learning guitar — what song are you trying to get through?
9. 9What's something you're into that nobody around you gets?
10. 10Give me one thing to add to my playlist and I'll give you one back.

Group chat starters (10)

These get the whole room talking, which is easier than a one-to-one.

1. 1What's one thing you'd recommend to everyone here and why?
2. 2Most overrated thing in this group's topic — go.
3. 3What did you get into this year that you didn't expect to like?
4. 4Best find of the week, anything counts.
5. 5What's an opinion you have that gets you into arguments?
6. 6If you had to explain this hobby to someone in one sentence, what would you say?
7. 7What are you working on right now, even if it's going badly?
8. 8Who here is new? What got you into this?
9. 9Give me a starting point for someone who knows nothing about this.
10. 10What's the thing you always come back to when nothing else sounds good?

Music, film and games starters (10)

Shared taste is the fastest route to a real conversation.

1. 1What's your comfort rewatch?
2. 2First album you loved on your own, not because someone showed you?
3. 3What song is stuck in your head right now?
4. 4Best soundtrack in anything, ever?
5. 5Film everyone says is great that you thought was fine?
6. 6What are you currently mid-season on?
7. 7What game did you sink way too many hours into?
8. 8Live music or headphones-alone music?
9. 9Which artist would you drop everything to see?
10. 10Sad songs when you're sad, or happy songs when you're sad?

Light and funny starters (10)

For when the mood needs lifting, not deepening.

1. 1Weirdest thing you believed as a kid?
2. 2What's your most useless talent?
3. 3Worst haircut you've ever had, be honest.
4. 4What food would you eat every day forever?
5. 5Most unhinged thing in your camera roll that isn't a person?
6. 6What's your villain origin story?
7. 7If your life had an intro song, what is it?
8. 8What are you irrationally competitive about?
9. 9Strangest compliment you've ever received?
10. 10What's a small thing that instantly ruins your day?

Slightly deeper starters (10)

Save these for people you've talked to a few times. They're too much for message one.

1. 1What's something you changed your mind about this year?
2. 2What are you actually proud of that nobody praises you for?
3. 3What do you wish people asked you about?
4. 4What's the best advice you've ignored?
5. 5What are you looking forward to?
6. 6What's something you want to be better at?
7. 7What kind of friend are you trying to be?
8. 8What's a thing you find hard that other people seem to find easy?
9. 9What would make this year a good one for you?
10. 10What do you do when you're overwhelmed?

Starters to avoid

Some questions kill conversations, and a couple are red flags coming from someone you don't know.

• "hey"

  Gives the other person nothing to work with. Add one specific detail and it works.

• "asl" or age/location openers

  Not a conversation, and location isn't something to hand out.

• Appearance-first questions

  It makes people close up, and requests for photos break the rules.

• "Can we talk somewhere else?"

  If someone asks this in message one, report it instead of moving.