75 Questions to Ask a New Friend and Actually Get to Know Them

How to use a list like this without sounding like a quiz

One question at a time, and always answer it yourself too.

The fastest way to make a conversation feel like an interrogation is to fire off three questions in a row and react to none of the answers. Ask one. React to what they said. Add your own answer. Then let the conversation drift somewhere unplanned — that drift is the actual goal, and these questions are just the push-off.

Week one: light questions with easy answers

Low stakes, no vulnerability required.

1. 1What's been on repeat for you this week?
2. 2What are you watching right now, and is it actually good?
3. 3What's the last thing that made you laugh out loud?
4. 4Are you a morning person or is that a lie people tell?
5. 5What's your comfort film — the one you've seen too many times?
6. 6What game have you sunk the most hours into?
7. 7What's the best thing you've eaten this month?
8. 8Cats, dogs, or something everyone finds strange?
9. 9What's your most-used emoji, and what does it say about you?
10. 10What's the worst haircut you've ever had?
11. 11Are you the planner or the one who shows up late?
12. 12What's a small thing that instantly improves your day?
13. 13What's your go-to order anywhere that sells food?
14. 14Do you keep your notifications on, or is that chaos to you?
15. 15What's the last thing you saved because it was too good to scroll past?
16. 16Which subject at school do you actually not mind?
17. 17What's a sound you love and a sound you can't stand?
18. 18Do you sleep early, late, or on a schedule nobody understands?
19. 19What's the best thing in your room right now?
20. 20What's something you're mildly obsessed with this month?

Taste questions: the fastest way to know someone

What people like tells you more than what they say about themselves.

1. 1What's an album you'd defend against the entire internet?
2. 2Which fictional character do you unfortunately relate to?
3. 3What's a film ending you're still annoyed about?
4. 4Underrated song from an artist everyone knows?
5. 5What's your genre when nobody's watching?
6. 6First concert or gig you'd go to if money didn't exist?
7. 7What show did you drop and never finish?
8. 8Best video game soundtrack, no hesitating?
9. 9Which trend do you refuse to participate in?
10. 10What's a book that actually changed your mind about something?
11. 11What's the one film you'd make someone watch before anything else?
12. 12Which artist got better with time, and which one peaked early?
13. 13What's your comfort game when you don't want a challenge?
14. 14Best fictional friendship, and why that one?
15. 15What's a sequel that had no right being good?
16. 16Which song do you always skip even though you like the album?
17. 17Playlist person or one album start to finish?
18. 18What's the most overrated thing everyone pretends to enjoy?

Hypotheticals and stupid questions that work

Nonsense questions get better answers than serious ones early on.

1. 1You get one superpower but it's mildly inconvenient. What is it?
2. 2What would your walk-on music be?
3. 3You have to teach a class on something for an hour. What's the subject?
4. 4Which historical period would you last the shortest time in?
5. 5What's the strangest thing you believed as a kid?
6. 6You can delete one food from existence. Which one goes?
7. 7What's your useless talent?
8. 8If your pet could talk, what would it complain about first?
9. 9What's a hill you'll die on that doesn't matter at all?
10. 10You're in a horror film — how long do you last, honestly?
11. 11You can only text in one emoji forever. Which one?
12. 12What's the pettiest reason you've ever stopped watching something?
13. 13You get to rename one animal. What are you fixing?
14. 14Which board game would end a friendship the fastest?
15. 15You wake up as an expert in one random skill. What did you get?
16. 16What's the worst possible name for a pet, and would you use it?
17. 17You have to give a speech with no notes. What's your subject?
18. 18Time travel forwards or backwards, and how far?

Later: questions for when you're actually friends

Save these for someone you've talked to for weeks, not hours — and never push if they'd rather not answer.

1. 1What are you weirdly proud of that nobody notices?
2. 2What's something you're working on getting better at?
3. 3What does a good day look like for you, start to finish?
4. 4What's a compliment you struggle to accept?
5. 5When you're stressed, do you want advice or company?
6. 6What's the friendship you learned the most from?
7. 7What are you looking forward to this year?
8. 8What do people misunderstand about you at first?
9. 9What's something you changed your mind about recently?
10. 10How do you like people to check on you when you're quiet?
11. 11What's something that made you laugh when you really needed it?
12. 12Who taught you something you still use?
13. 13What's the kindest thing someone's done for you online?
14. 14What do you wish more people asked you about?
15. 15What's a habit you're glad you started?
16. 16When did you last feel properly proud of yourself?
17. 17What's something you find easy that other people seem to find hard?
18. 18What kind of friend are you trying to be?
19. 19What would make this year feel like it went well?

Questions you don't have to answer — and shouldn't

If someone new asks these, the right response is a subject change, and if they keep pushing, report and block.

• Where exactly do you live?

  Country or "north of England" is plenty. Street, town or school is not information anyone new needs.

• What school do you go to?

  A school plus a first name plus a photo is enough to find someone in person. Skip it.

• Are your parents home?

  There is no innocent version of this question from a stranger online.

• Can you send a photo of…?

  Any request for a private or intimate photo breaks the rules here. Report it — you won't be in trouble.

• Can we talk somewhere else instead?

  Moving a new conversation to an unmoderated app removes your report and block buttons. That's usually the point.